1. Learn how to cook — pancakes.
2. Avoid jogging when it’s hot. Or cold. Or early. Or late.
3. Tell people you had salad for lunch when you actually had a chicken-salad sandwich.
4. Only listen to medical studies that say you should keep doing what you’re already doing — namely, eating chocolate and drinking beer.Hahahahaha
Another one by me on the Thought Catalog!
Process. Process. Money. Money. Justice. Justice. Prophet. Prophet. Yo yo my bro bros Son Lux & Busdriver re-mix + rap da shizz out of my ring-a-ding-a-ling. Peace y’all from tumblr ghetto. Love, S
CHRISTMAS IS YOUR BAG. DUE TO BUDGET CUTS AND GLOBAL WARMING, THE “ON-ICE” PORTION OF THE TOUR HAS BEEN CUT. Official Name: “The Sirfjam Stephanapolous Christmas Sing-A-Long Seasonal Affective Disorder Spectacular Music Pageant Variety Show Disaster.” Did someone say FREE ZIMA? XXOO from Tumblr Ghetto, S
I see a chart back there…
ELAINE (throws the script at Jerry): I’m not even in here!
JERRY: Yeah, I know.
ELAINE: I thought there was going to be a character named Elaine Benes.
JERRY: Well, there were too many people in the room, we couldn’t keep track of everybody. George, and the butler, and…
ELAINE: You couldn’t “keep track” of everybody?
JERRY: Well, we tried. We couldn’t. We didn’t know how to, uh…<confessing> …we couldn’t write for a woman. We didn’t know what you would say. Even right now, I’m sitting here, I know you’re going to say something, I have no idea what it is.
ELAINE: You have no idea?
JERRY: Something derogatory?(via The Shoes)
in the future if my kids tell me that they are gay i’ll just be like “what” because i don’t plan on having any kids so how the hell did they get there
I remember this episode. So cute.
From The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2011
