Life is about doing things that don’t suck with people who don’t suck.
My Projects:
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
“One of These Days” by Owen
One of these days, I’ll make some money and buy myself those things that I want. Acrylic paints, acoustic guitar strings, a new bicycle seat. I might ride over to your house each night. One of these days, I’ll get a real job. One that actually pays, like my dad had. And you know my father, the bartender, he used to wear a suit to work before he hit the drink. The old man, he used to do a lot of things. One of these days, I’ll give up and give into the man.
Two weeks ago, in the afternoon, Amanda said to me, “I can’t read books any more. Who has the time?” It was the day after Oliver had left, and we were in this little café in the industrial part of the city. “Who can concentrate any more?” she said, stirring her coffee. “Who reads? Do you read?” (I shook my head.) “Somebody must read, I guess. You see all those books around in store windows, and there are those clubs. Somebody’s reading,” she said. “Who? I don’t know anybody who reads.”
That’s what she said, apropos of nothing - that is, we weren’t talking about books, we were talking about our lives. Books had nothing to do with it.
Menudo by Raymond Carver
from Elephant
Clubs are despicable. Cramped, overpriced furnaces with sticky walls and the latest idiot theme tunes thumping through the humid air so loud you can’t hold a conversation, just bellow inanities at megaphone-level. And since the smoking ban, the masking aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of crotch sweat and hair wax.
(via oxfordcomatose)
Ninety-five percent of the time I am so grateful that I’m not in love with anyone, that considering the mess life is I’m working it alone and don’t have to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration, etc.
The rest of the time I want to be in love. I snap out of it pretty fast, but when someone leans against me as we watch a movie, or a friend slips into bed with me to take a quick nap (that is not a euphemism), I wonder what it’d feel like to do those things with someone I was in love with.
As I said though, it never lasts very long. I rely too much on independence and freedom to fuck up without impacting anyone but myself and I’m too much a child of estranged, divorced parents to think that relationships cure anything. You fix yourself first.
After probably the roughest situation I’ve ever had to go through in my life so far, this is exactly what I have been thinking about these past few weeks. I’m a product of two people who have lost all sorts of affection for each other and the past month made me realize how important it is for me to get myself together first before I consider starting yet another relationship. Like Laala said, life is messy enough as it is.
I’M GOING TO BARCELONA! I will be taking my masters degree at the Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona. I’m really super excited. My big brother’s coming with me and we have always talked about going to Italy together. He introduced me to The Godfather and he’s the biggest Italophile I know. He even speaks Italian! So this is going to be a fantastic trip, I’m sure. :D
